If there’s one thing we’ve all needed in the past couple of years, it’s resilience! Resilience is the ability to cope with and recover from setbacks, and we’ve certainly had plenty of those. All of us are relatively resilient, and while we may not be able to change what’s going on around us, we can improve how we cope with whatever comes our way. There are different types of resilience – mental, physical, emotional and social – each of which influence our ability to cope with various forms of stress, and it’s likely that we’re more resilient in some areas than others. WHAT RESILIENCE LOOKS LIKE If you observe yourself and others, you’ll be able to recognise a few of these characteristics of resilience. A survivor mentality - people who are resilient often view themselves as ‘survivors’. They know that even when things are difficult, they’ll always make it through. Managing emotions - resilience is marked by an ability to manage emotions in the face of stress. Resilient people still experience emotions such as anger, sadness, or fear, but they recognise those feelings are temporary and that they can be managed until they pass. Feeling in control - resilient people tend to have an internal innate sense of control and feel that their decisions and actions can play a part in determining the outcome of events. Problem-solving skills - when problems arise, resilient people are able look at a situation rationally and try to come up with solutions that will make a positive difference. Self-compassion - self-acceptance and self-compassion are signs of resilience. Resilient people are kind to themselves, especially when times are hard. Social support - resilient people recognise the importance of support and have a network of understanding people to call on when they need to ask for help. WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR RESILIENCE Here’s some ways you can build your resilience. Talk about this with others too, like family, friends, and workmates – sharing helps us come up with way more ideas than we could on our own. Get connected Building strong, positive relationships can provide you with much needed support, guidance and acceptance in good and bad times. If you don’t have anyone close, consider other ways to meet people you can feel a connection with. Volunteer for a cause that’s important to you or join a community group that supports something you believe in and you’ll meet like-minded people. Make every day meaningful Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set achievable goals to help you look toward the future with meaning. Learn from experience Think about how you've coped with hardships in the past – what skills and strategies have helped you through difficult times? You might like to write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify your positive and negative behaviour patterns which can help prepare you to manage difficult times even better in the future. Remain hopeful You can't change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety. Take care of yourself Look after your own needs and feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Do what you can to get good quality sleep and create consistent bedtime rituals. Eat a healthy diet. Practice stress management and relaxation techniques, like prayer, yoga, meditation, guided imagery, and mindful breathing. Be proactive Don't ignore your problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action. Taking action is key! Make a point of focusing on things that help you become and remain resilient If you find metaphors helpful, image your resilience as a bank or a dam. Each time you take some knocks in life, a withdrawal is made from your account or the dam gates have opened and some of your resilience has drained away. Make a point of maintaining your account or your dam with activities, thoughts and habits that keep your resilience topped up, because an ‘empty account’ or a ‘dry dam’ will leave you far less able to cope when the going gets tough. We all need reserves to call on – that’s what resilience is all about. Ask yourself, “what am I going to do to top up my account/dam today?”, then follow through and do it! |